No one likes chores. I dislike them. So do my kids, accept David (I’ll explain that one another day).
Today, right after the wrecking crew left for school and work, I looked around my house, like I do every morning. Usually, I do this with a cup of coffee in hand, except today because Mr.Erickson was feeling a little chintzy and was too lean on the coffee grounds, making my favorite morning ritual a disappointment. What he produced was worse than church coffee. Which made my disposition slightly off kilter. Possibly making the house look worse than it actually was.
Looking around, I saw random stuff strewn every where in addition to finger prints on the furniture, Nerf bullet marks on all my windows, and the smell of the over-flowing kitty litter box wafting it’s stink all the way to my nostrils from over50 feet away. I dug through the family junk drawer (future chore for someone other than me) looking for a giant stack of post-it notes to write out chores on. Finding the brightest color possible, I had all the kids and the husband’s chores written out before I was deluded with work projects. I must admit it felt good to have that done before the start of the day. I have never considered starting my day with the end in mind. Usually I get done with work and It’s a mad scramble to come up with the chores and the dinner plans. Dinner, obviously comes easy for me, but the kid-chore thing is …well, it’s a chore. Things always need to be done but someone needs to organize it. Me, the No-Sayer.
I am a no-sayer because I of this frequently used statement; No you can’t go, do see, have, try, eat, borrow, beg, steal, feel, etc…until your chores are done. Period.
On the day’s when the chore list is long, I have a tendency to have a tasty treat visible for the testosterone charged little (OK, not so little) monkeys, just waiting for them, when they open the front door after they are done torturing “Ronnie” their despised school bus driver -who never let’s them do any thing, according to George.
Today, I will play the part of food temptress and make something they can’t resist considering the mounting post-it chores stuck to the counter. Something with wild berries. Bright colored wild berries. I know they will ask for some and I will say “nope, when your chores are done, you may have some.” I hope they never read this. I would hate to have my plans foiled. I recently heard in an interview with Erma Bombeck‘s 3 children, that they never read their mother’s column growing up. Most kids only care about food, toys and more food anyway. I have a pretty good chance they won’t. They don’t even like to read. Especially, if it’s something their embarrassing mom wrote.
As for the husband’s chores (manly things I can’t do), I added a fun one this time. It read; Pour 2 glasses of wine and sit with your wife for 10 minutes. He
needs, I mean, I need, more chores like this.